Friday, September 26, 2008

I'll be in Vermont - Buffalo you later!

Well, looks like I'm headed back up north and won't be posting for a few days.  Settle down, they're not throwing me in the slammer again - I'm going to Vermont for the weekend for a cousin's wedding.  What is this "Vermont" you speak of, you may ask?  Well let me pull out my best Craig David impersonation and fill you in.

Vermont is more than just a cold, hippie-filled state shrouded in a permanent cloud of weed smoke.  If you look on the map, it's the one that looks like an upside-down New Hampshire, right next to the rightside-up New Hampshire.  Vermont is an extremely diverse state whose largest ethnic groups, in order, are French-Americans (23%), English-Americans (18%), Irish-Americans (16%), German-Americans (9%), American-Americans (8%), Italian-Americans (6%), and Scottish-Americans (5%).  The state's largest city, Burlington, is also home to small refugee communities from Africa, Asia, and Eastern Europe, who moved there after being informed by Tom Petty that they don't have to live like refugees.  Vermont is most famous as the birthplace of great Mormon leaders Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, and the setting for the classic film "Super Troopers."

Here are some notable facts about the "great" state of Vermont (notice the quotation marks around "great"):

State beverage: Schlitz, 6 of 'em at a time (source: "Super Troopers")
State pastime: 1) syrup-chugging, 2) "cat game" (source: "Super Troopers")
State bestiality fetishes: tie between bears and chickens (source: "Super Troopers")
State movie: "Super Troopers"
State food: Ben & Jerry's ice cream (source: common knowledge)
State mineral: talc (source: Wikipedia)
State plant: marijuana (source: common knowledge)
State bird: hermit thrush (source: Wikipedia)
State musical artist: The Grateful Dead (come on, they're hippies)
Favorite blogs: 1) "Stuff White People Like" (see ethnic breakdown above), 2) "The Marijuana News Blog" (see state plant) 3) "Buffalo This" (this one always seems to make the list)

I'll see you on Monday, or if I don't, I was probably sucked into the dreaded black hole of hippiedom..........or a black hole created by the Large Hadron Collider.

No comments:

Who links to me?