Sucker bet

Being one of the world's foremost celebrities and most brilliant and revolutionary scientific minds, I decided to follow in the footsteps of other great celebrities/thinkers out there (Warren Buffett, Ted Danson, Brian Eno, Freeman Dyson, Ray Kurzweil, etc) and place a bet on longbets.org.

Here is the bet:

As you can see, I win if the Large Hadron Collider does not destroy Earth, and my opponent, Joe Keane, wins if it does. Now of course you're probably thinking, "Wait a minute! You said the LHC probably would destroy this planet!" - and you would be right. However, there is one factor you probably haven't considered: if he wins the bet, it's not going to matter because chances are none of us will be alive anymore! Yes, I am a brilliant master of trickery who makes buffaloing the unbuffaloable look like child's play.

At first I thought this guy was "Joe Keane" (get it - "joking") with this bet, but $500 says he isn't. So I really hope the world doesn't get destroyed, because I could really use that $500 to pay down the loan on my Mazda 3!

Now I should clarify one thing: no matter who wins the bet, both of us have to contribute $500 to the charity of the winner, so neither of us stands to profit from this wager, especially not the other guy, since money won't really matter much after the entire earth has been sucked into a black hole.

So in the unlikely event that the world does still exist in 2018, $1000 will go to Save the Children thanks to my noble, selfless, heroic efforts. Oh, stop it, stop it. Most charitable person in the world? No, no, really, stop it. What? Nobel Peace Prize? No, there's no way I...well, maybe. All right, I admit, I'm basically the reincarnation of Gandhi - except much more humble.

Click here to see the actual bet on the website. No, this is not a publicity stunt. Oh, who am I kidding - everything I do is a publicity stunt.